


First we survive...

by Lovestory81



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Grief/Mourning, I left her behind, She is, Soulmates, six years in space, spacekru, the 100 Bellamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovestory81/pseuds/Lovestory81
Summary: A Bellamy story, about when they just arrived in space...His heart is broken and the group has a hard time dealing with him...





	First we survive...

This bottle in his hand was only missing one drink, it was Jaha's. Bellamy's thoughts were somehow with this man, that he'd hated so much when he was younger. But now, he felt like he'd become just like him. Earth had forced him to. At this point he felt like he'd floated his best friend, so that the rest of them could survive.

Reminding the old man's words _She's lucky to have you_ and _You keep her centered_ , was so painful, what was the point even? But right now he realized that the man was right, without Clarke, without his sister, who the hell was he? 

It was only one week ago, how were they supposed to last 5 years up here? There were already fights and the grounders didn't fit very well to the group. Echo was by herself mostly, the others rejected and hated her for what she did. At first they were fine, but she had been to harsh when it was about Clarke. She never really liked her, but knew the others did and knew that it was Clarke who saved them, by giving her own life! It was very disturbing because Echo kinda took her place.

'Love is weakness'

Written in her genes and damaged because of her own trauma's, the group of friends didn't know Echo's story yet and they weren't interested. They were all grieving because of their losses. Jasper, Clarke.. all the people in the bunker. Would they ever meet again?  
Echo didn't care, she was banished anyway...

... ... ... 

Slowly he opened the bottle and inhaled the strong scent of alcohol, while gazing at the moon. Remembering how he showed his sister this the first time, right before the ball. That was some pretty strong booze right there, but whatever. Without hesitation he took a large sip and felt his eyes sting when he swallowed it. Didn't take him long to finish half the bottle to enjoy that dizzy, relaxing feeling. Very welcome, very pleasant to feel some relief in the middle of this grief and sadness.

That's when Monty walked around the corner.  
“Hey, what are you doing!?” He walked fast and quickly grabbed the bottle out of Bellamy's hand.

He smiled careless. “Drinking.”

“I wanted to use that, you know, for all of us? We should share. I thought as a leader, you'd know that.”

Bellamy leaned against the window, lowered his head and put up his hand. “Whatever Monty.”

He felt his heart ache, anger building up inside and tears were burning in his eyes. This somehow remembered him of his intense goodbye with Jasper. There was a silence, both of Monty's hands formed into a tight fist. When Bellamy looked at him he noticed and frowned.

“Are you okay?”

His hands, still covered in bandage, were still burning because of the radiation, squeezing his hands created more pain, a distraction to not think of Jasper and his mum.

While hiding his anger like that he answered “Yes” and turned to walk away, but then quickly turned again.

“Actually Bellamy, I'm not okay! What are you thinking? I've noticed your attitude, we all have. But you know what? You're not the only one, we're all in pain here! We all have to deal with our losses, the grieve inside of us. We're all haunted by the things we've done.”

At first he didn't take it seriously, but Monty did reach him and now he was looking at his friend with wide open, wet eyes. “You still have Harper.” he whispered and lowered his head.

Monty didn't think he was being fair and felt anger coming up. “And you still have all of us! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to say goodbye to Jasper? He was my best friend!”

But Bellamy made it only worse. “At least you got to say goodbye to him.”

Monty now shook his head. “He gave up his life! Clarke wanted to live, she sacrificed her life for all of us.”

“No- you're wrong. I left her behind.”

“Fine, think what you like. But you know what? If you continue to be like this, you're just like Jasper, a quitter. And honestly, I've never seen you give up before. Remember that time, when you went looking for Clarke in the midst of an Azgeda army? You'd do anything for her! And now she's gone and we're here.” he walked away, leaving Bellamy in tears with his hands in his hair.

When he was just around the corner, Monty looked back “Think about it.”  
But Bellamy couldn't look at him, his eyes were closed. Slowly he let himself sink through his knees, on the floor. He was broken.  
… … …

The group decided to leave him alone, a small banishment from the group at the other side of the ship. There had to be rules if they wanted to make it those five years together, that's what the man himself had said when they just arrived, like when they landed with the drop-ship and Clarke mentioned this. They all had their own chores to do and Echo got the worst ones. And she took it without complaining, happy with the fact that they now survived together, that somehow she was still needed and that they didn't kill her.

“I've got you some water.” she offered, entering Bellamy's room.  
But he attacked her right away, the small cup of water flew through the air. “What the hell you think you're doing here!?”

Within seconds she had him on the floor. “You're weak Bellamy.” and she got up and left. This same thing happened for a couple of days and then she had enough of it.

“Okay you want to fight? You need to get rid of that aggression somehow. So let's fight.”

He wanted to charge her right away again, but she sarcastically laughed. “Wait! Not here you idiot. I meant a real fight.”  
Bellamy nodded, he was so ready to whip her ass. Maybe that's why he wanted her to be alive, to be able to remember her every day what she'd done. It was easy to blame her for everything.  
… … …

Murphy yelled “You're not invited Bellamy!” then he gave him a friendly smile.

Bellamy was amazed by how his friends organised fights, to get some physical exercise. It was a good thing, but annoying that Echo seemed to be the leader.

“What's this? You want us to become Azgeda warriors?” he snapped at her.

But Echo laughed and stepped towards him, her body changed into a fighting mode and she gestured Bellamy to attack her.

“This is crazy, just answer the question!” But instead she kicked him in the chest real hard so that he fell backwards.

He growled and jumped up, attacking her. “You bitch!” he hit her, grabbed her and pushed her against the floor.  
“You shouldn't be here...I think about all the things you've done everyday, you've hurt so many people, killed so many...I was a fool for saving your ass!” his knee moved forward to her neck, Murphy watched and was impressed as it seemed that he wanted to choke her.

“i should've killed you when I had the chance.” Bellamy was raging inside.

Murphy walked towards them, bend a bit and put his hand on his friends shoulder. “Bellamy stop. This won't help.”

“Shut up Murphy!” and he punched him right in the face. Right at that moment Echo got up, made a few moves and sat on top of him, now they'd switched roles.

“The commander of death isn't among us any more Bellamy, it's time you accept that. No one decides who deserves to live or not.” both hands were on his throat and she nearly choked him.

“Come on, fight back!” she demanded. “Where's your survival instinct Bellamy?” she punched his face and stood up.

Murphy now watched everything from the sidelines, he suddenly knew what she was doing, she was helping him.

“Come on! You're a warrior, fight!” she yelled.  
Bellamy slowly crawled up, he cried.

“You're still so weak, you'll never gonna last five years up here!” she provoked him to fight again.

He took a deep breath through his nose, made an angry sound and charged her again, but she hit and kicked one time and he was on the floor again.  
With a sarcastic smile Echo ended Bellamy's first training.

“Tomorrow I expect you to actually do something.”


End file.
